joi, 20 ianuarie 2011

iertare de mine

precum un cerc
invartindu-se, invizibil pentru ochiul uman
viata mea se roteste
pe acelasi tipar
toti oamenii jinduind
aceleasi dorinte murdare
cateodata cer singuratate
ca sa ma hranesc cu disgratia si neincrederea-mi
in coltisorul intunecat si numai al meu
slabiciunile-mi invinetite si zgariate
cuvinte scuipate pe inima
toate cuvintele care-mi desfac cusaturile
toate atat de supra-apreciate
trezeste-te!
sterge rugina...
ma pierd in intunecare
precum o fantoma
ca un drog pe care nu-l poti dezbraca
rece si inzapezit
timpul curge nemilos
in liniile fine ale privirii preapline
nascute intru ras si plans
desertaciune, desertaciune zace-n blestemul omenirii
si simt necesitatea razbunarii
nevoia de-a muri
nevoia de-a durea
ca sa ne-uitam neputinta
de a incarna visele in realitate
nu te-ncrede in povesti frumoase
caci acelasi de ce me obsedeaza inc-o data
de ce nimic nu are vreo finalitate
de ce e-atat de greu de inteles
ca inima si carnea se razboiesc mereu
cum marea sparge tarmul, si moartea-ncheie viata
de ce nu pot uita nimic
din ce-am trait si-am auzit


nevoia de iertare de sine

need to forgive

like a circle
spinning unseen to human eyes
my life turns
the same pattern
all people thinking
same petty desires
sometimes i just need to be left alone
so i can feed on my mistrust and disgrace
my dark corner all to myself
my weaknesses bruised and scratched
words spitting in my heart
all the words that tear me at the seams
all so overrated
wake up!
dust off the rust
I fade to darkness
like a phantom
like a drug you can't shrug off
cold and snowy
time flows mercilessly
as a myth and as a curse
pretty little lines in the corners of my stare
from all the crying and the laughing
vane, vane is the bane of mankind
i see the need for punishment
the need to die
the need to hurt
so as to forget one's uselessness
in making dreams come true,
never trust in fairy tales
it's the same why bothering me all over again
why nothing plays out right
why i love red
why is it so hard to understand
that heart and flesh are at war
like sea and land, life and death
why i can't forget what i have seen
and heard and been

i need to forgive me